Why we fail in love


Love can be so relative. The truth is everybody loves their own way.  But is love really something that can be adaptable to our own ways and definitions or should it just be? It is difficult to believe in love when you see people that claim to love others but can still engage in actions that create pain or other feelings that do not go by the hand with love.

I don’t think that if it’s  selfish or inconsiderate it can be called love.  People really don’t know what love is. They think love is the feeling, but in reality love is the action. 

And sure, yeah, we all can make mistakes. But we really need to learn to classify what mistakes really are from the things that are plain and simply wrong. Not everything is excusable, some things are just not acceptable and sometimes those things are just the indication of how deficient or incapable we are of loving.

Sometimes it can be due to the fact that we really have not learned what love is. Maybe what we have learned as love from our immediate circles, like our family and friends,  cannot entirely fit its definition or full capacity. In this case, this is not love but rather what we have learned as love.

Maybe our religious experience has not been focused on what it should from the beginning. The Bible is so extensive on love. It is really the big picture of the message.  We want to master so many things on religion and spirituality and yet we are failing at its most important commandment. The most ironic thing is that we tend to fail in love with those that we say we love the most. Not the neighbor, not the stranger but in our own home—our families, our spouses, our children. How can that be?

I was recently reading a really good book in Spanish about marriage titled When sex is not enough.  Author Rey Matos explains in his book that the word Love, nowadays, has been corrupted, losing its true meaning and that therefore we should exchange it by another word—Honor.  What a brilliant man! When you think of the word honor,  there is no ambiguity going thru your mind for what the word represents. I think it is not hard to identify the difference between what is honorable and what is not.

In my personal experience, I have learned what love is from God; and I know that there are a lot of people that maybe do not have God in their lives but are capable of loving. But in my experience, I have proven what love really is through a much reliable reference.

Because God loves me:

I have learned what love really looks like.

I have learned to love others, the way he does too.

It is important that we focus our learning of love in Christ and that it can become the priority of our religious experience. We cannot fail on this. Love is a MUST of the gospel and it is not our way, it is not through our understanding, but only the way it has been written and explained in the Bible. I am committed to follow love in my life and with those around me but I must be careful also not to sponsor or associate with the type of behavior that  can make love lose its true meaning.

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