I am the kind of person that plans really ahead of things. I am not a fan of surprises. I like to know what is going on and when it’s going to happen. So I planned my life well to be able to do everything I wanted to do in good time.
Five years into a marriage already seemed like a good time for having babies— or past due maybe? I don’t really know. But even though we both had the desire, sometimes I felt that maybe we could wait just a little more time. I know that happens to a lot of people.
The best time. When exactly is that?
The popular definition of the best time to have a baby is typically when your done with all your education, you have a comfortable economical status and a problem free marriage that has taken time to do all they have wanted. I wonder how many people have actually been able to fit this criteria by the time they have conceived.
As a matter or fact, most people that I know with kids, never really planned them. I think the reason for this is that, most of the time, people may feel they are not ready enough. Nevertheless, somehow that stork knows how to find a way to get to you.
We are thinking of “the best time” but in reality we are proposing ideal conditions so that we may feel more secure in having less burdens so that it could be easier for us to handle the responsibility. The truth is that life will never be perfect and things may be good for you right now but that doesn’t mean that they could not randomly turn around for you, for good or for bad—it happens; will you be ready then? This is why relying in these conditions may not be the absolute outline to actually determine the best time.
So what are really the best conditions? The best conditions are when you are ready to devote yourself to this new, defenceless person in your life, even through the worst hardship that may come to you.
Does that depend of my marriage or my economical status? No.
Is it a good plan to look forward to meet the conditions that I would like to achieve in my life (lifestyle, goals, stable marriage, etc.) prior to having kids? Definitely, Yes.
However, this is something that I choose to do for myself and knowing that I don’t have all the power to control everything that happens —it is not the definite requisite to determine that I will be ready.
The best time is really when you are ready to give the most selfless unconditional love to someone else.
For some people pregnancy can come very unexpectedly at moments that they will never have picked out from like singleness, economical hardship or a young age. Even under those instances, you can see how these people are able to thrive in this experience the way they are supposed to. The reason this happens is because, ultimately, it’s all about when you are ready to give yourself in love. In that love, you better yourself and find the way to provide a happy life for you and your little one regardless of what you may go through and independently of what your current condition may be.
I am really glad that I was able to do a lot of what I wanted to do in life before having kids; I know that is not always like that for a lot of people. However, those things are not what really determine you will be a good parent; therefore, I will not take pride on them.
What I am mostly glad is plainly and simply that my little one has come into my life. The time that he got here was the precise moment that I realize that I did not had to figure out the best time to have him because the best time was already there. Nearly 6 months into my pregnancy I feel I have been truly blessed and given an opportunity to embrace a new love that I have never known before. A good, caring love that I can give even without receiving anything in return. A love that simply is.