We rarely see God’s grace intricately knitted into our lives. We become frustrated in His hands, and we presume stagnation in waiting. Yet, He interrupts our plans to reveal Himself steadfast and sovereign. He interrupts our security to show us his mercy and justice. His peace will only reign in our minds and hearts if our controlling pride quits contesting it.
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand (Proverbs 16:9).
My deep desire was to spend the summer of 2020 on a medical mission in the Amazon region of Peru. I planned to arrive sometime in June with a few equally passionate friends, longing for God’s work in us and in them. Numerous times, God prevented that. All my attention was instead funneled toward an intimate and ever refining relationship with Him. He built in me an enduring hope to see change in my city and in my workplace.
He led me into the month of March 2020, into the pandemic, the anxious hopelessness of the hospital and into solitary quarantine. I had prayed to see changes and revelation in the hearts of those who do life with me; those who work with me. The hour had arrived for us to stand firm in the peace only God can give. He had been building these connections and binding our lives together for two years in anticipation of these moments.
The past sixteen months have surely not been easy or simple, and I don’t know when I’ll leave the country to serve people in other lands again. However, God has allowed me to rest in his Presence, and I’ve felt his hand over my life the entire time. He gave me moments with family and friends here and around the world over virtual calls. He’s given me new and unexpected opportunities to serve my community here, in my workplace and my church, because He is good.
For years, I yearned to endlessly possess the freedom and whimsicality of the single life. Any suggestion of marriage, any friendship with a man, seemed an affront to my greatest dream. Finally, at 24 years, I learned not to hold the gift of this time in greedy hands. Instead, I began to dream of what God could do in a marriage, yet I also continue to ponder all the beautiful ways He has revealed Himself so far in all the places He’s led me to live and work.
He has given me beautiful friends and mentors to walk with in every context. He has granted me the ability to hold both singleness and the prospect of marriage and to cherish each in my heart. That sealed tension was not won easily. It was a journey—for He is good. I could continue to list the unfulfilled dreams and the visions I have not yet seen in reality, but I know He interrupts us with his grace over our lives and infinitely superior plans.
God, let your grace interrupt us.
We cannot always see what’s to come, especially in the present time. We see in part and prophesy in part, and yet then we will see and know clear as day, so Paul asserts (1 Cor. 13:9). Clear as the lagunas in the mountains of Huaraz.
Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known (2 Corinthians 13:8-12).
Jen Brown is a daughter, nurse, and missionary. She is currently based in Florida, and God has called her to make his name known there, in Africa and Latin America. She works in inner city ministry and college ministry with Every Nation Campus. She loves playing keys as worship, writing poetry, and being outside.
